When you get the odd e-mail entitled (and I quote) “The Hottest Hentai style models with the Biggest Tits are HERE!”, it generally gets relegated to the spam-box. However, when you work in the porn industry (as I do), things aren’t so clear-cut. Foolishly or not, I clicked the link in the e-mail and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was hosted by the same folks who do that PhotoClubs site with all the by-gone silicone queens of yesteryear.
“Hmmm,” I mused, “perhaps they’ve simply run out of models willing to insert impracticably immense implants into their breasts and decided to synthesize a few of their own!” Ah, the wonders of computer generated imagery: Without so much as a single strand of polypropylene string (not to mention its long-term health consequences), you can take perverse pleasure in making your virtual girl’s boobs as big as you like with the mere stroke of a key.
Being the modelling geek that I am (and I’m not talking topless, at least in this case), I became immediately curious as to the mathematics behind such masterful mammary manipulation. A little on-line research revealed that a calculus major known only as Ender02 had arrived at a functional equation for graphing “a nice set of breasts in 3D space” using the straight-forward formula z=x4+y4-4xy+1 (wherein the third term regulates breast size (i.e. a higher multiplicand equates to bigger tits!)). Mathematician Magenta quickly countered, saying, “[that] doesn’t do a very good job of simulating gravity. You might want to use this as a starting mesh to put into an inverse kinematics engine. Also, you don’t specify the constraints on x or y,” and offering the brilliant alternative of x4+(y-gz)4-cx(y-gz)-(z-1)>=0 as a means of projecting one’s sim-breasts on a 5-dimensional isosurface with “g” representing gravitational skew and “c” being the cup-size (blimey, I’d always been under the mistaken impression that c was the velocity of light! (no, wait, that would be a capital c)). Magenta also later alluded that a better breast equation would probably go something like this: “whistles + catcalls + dehumanization = K * breast size – the bigger the breasts, the more a woman is likely to be treated as an object.”
Seeing as I’ve probably lost all but the most dedicated followers of formulae by this point, I guess I’d probably best get on with the photos & videos. Personally, I don’t get the Hentai anime porn stuff (although a nice young lady named Wench recently requested links for such on the wife’s swingers’ forum since she’d become “bored of normal porn“). I, on the other hand, much prefer real women with flesh-and-blood breasts that you can fondle without the aid of a mouse pointer.
Still, I hear that these “cartoon tits” have become quite popular (not to mention progressed far beyond the stick figures with big circles resembling balloons with nipples just below the arms that I used to draw in my youth), and perhaps if they were available in the manner of an interactive, tit-centric RPG for my PS3 with dynamic control over cup-size, tissue density, areola diameter and nipple stimulation, I might be wont to reconsider. Eh, I just don’t know. What do you think?
In order that you may formulate your own considered opinion on the matter, I’ve thoughtfully provided the following Hentai-style big tits anime photo & video galleries from ThrillDoll.com:
P.S. For those of you in the least bit interested, the breast equation above came courtesy of a site called Everything2.com. ;~)
Hey Reese,
let me start by saying — awesome site. keep up the good work.
refering to the third paragraph;
this post is hillarious. I’m a math major in the seattle area and I got a good, deep-muscled laugh from this post. Its funny to think that these guys, the second one in particular, spend so much energy thinking about how to represent big tits mathematically in 3-D space. I guess I can’t complain though, I don’t mind looking at them at all.
Great site
Cartoon tits and porn has come a long way… but nothing beats the real thing. Remember the game “Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards”? HA! Good times. I’m dating myself now… doh.
I am just numb. It feels weird!!
Good grief! I’ve never seen anything less exciting than those stupid pictures…
This proves once again that huge tits and anime go very well together :)
cool stuff, but ya know what… i like natural women, big hips, big heavy tits, soft bellies and hairy, yepper. natural leg and pit hair. post up some fine women with big tits and hairy pits !
no good- it looks all sillicone-ish and … well kinda cheap and ugly…
the only good 3D boobs you can find are … uh aw man,
I forgot the link….
maybe for a different quality standart you should just check out http://www.illusion.jp/oppai2/slider.html and try to buy that game.
*lol* sorry for double post.
It’s amusing, I’ll give it that. Certainly not what I’d care to see here on a regular basis. The “asian” girl in the first three pix reminds me of minka.
You’re kidding right???
Nice site….but cartoons with huge boobs dont really do it for me…umm its kinda lame actually
Cartoon porn is a dicey prospect, to say the least. The vast majority is pretty atrocious, but once in a while you find a few gems. Most of the good stuff tends to fall under “erotic art,” though there are some decent 3D renderings that really couldn’t be anything but porn, and are downright brilliant.
At any rate, before any of you dismiss it entirely, keep in mind the fantastic work of Bill Ward. I think all of us on this site can appreciate the ladies he created.
Ha!
But one thing, the speed of light in vacuum is generally denoted with a lower case “c” (the “E” is capital).
Some the the “regular” hentai can be decent but this 3D stuff is just ridiculous.
Leisure Suit Larry… now that was the game. Larry was always trying to shag the big boob girls in the game…thanks for the reminder
Mason
THIS IS NOT HENTAI.
First off, it’s being done by westerners, not Japanese. Second, the vast majority of hentai is either drawn or done with regular animation, there’s very little 3D hentai out there. Finally, this doesn’t even look like Hentai; big tits in hentai tend to imitate natural breasts, not the gravity-defying balloons in the example above. This shoddy 3D stuff is a waste of time and money.
Seriously Reese, you usually do a pretty damn good job of finding big tit content on the web, this post just falls on its face.
I won’t presume to speak for Reese but I suspect he was putting this in as a novelty, to broaden the spectrum of the variety on the site.
Hey Alex, don’t be giving out at Reese for not being a cartoon nerd! You might be into all that cartoon crap but no one else is. Reese does a great job here.
hot ;-)
deos anyone know what a good female lesbian site is ???
the 3D stuff sucks, since it not really hentai either.
Hentai is something that works with mental pictures mostly, thats why it sure can be a nice change of pace from the meaningless real porn
.
They dont just draw a big titted woman and let it copulate with some guy, its either a extremely premature teen, that happens to be in love with that nerd down the street,not yet knowing she could have any guy in the world, OR its a married mom, her sexuality is at its peak,but her huband is a prick and now YOU, the nerdy schoolboy are the one called to harvest this freak-of-nature fruit all by yourelf.
thats what makes it real…in your head of course:)
its a RPG concept
I like hentai, but i think that hentai is much better when it done on paper not on computer by 3D technology!!!But in 3D hentai there are a lot of really nice pictures, videos and games!!!
i’m new… anticipation to register around more regularly!